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TRUE STORY




a couple of weeks ago we saw this guy with curly hair standing outside of subway. He came up to us and asked us if we had a smoke. We said no. but then we started talking to him and he was telling us how just an hour ago he had finished smoking pot with a retired professor who is going through his last stage of alzheimers.

This guy was had a definite hippy like personality but he was talking like he was a physics professor at nasa. He used the most sophisticated words and he wasn't bullshitting either, he knew what he was talking about, it flowed smoothly. We then asked him how much education he has had.. that's when we found out that he had never had any education what so ever. He had grown up in india with aboriginals and all the words he uses come to him naturally when he is under the influence of acid. After talking to him for a while, he said that he thinks we are "interesting" people and that he would like to invite us to his house for rum and coke. So we walked to his house... we stopped at the front and he told us to go around back and that he will meet us there, he will go through the front door and bring drinks to the back

We went around back and stood in his creepy ass back yard. We waited and waited... but he never showed up. that was two weeks ago. Last night we saw him again. He was singing opera in front of Lee's pharmacy and sniffing the leafs of a tree when we noticed who it was. We recognized each other and sat down and started talking again. After talking for a while again, we found out nothing less than the man we are talking to was studied by the government for his behaviour as a human being because he had grown up with these savages for the most part of his childhood. Oh, and we also found out that he happens to be the "naked midnight jogger" of dundas who many people have reported seeing jogging the streets completely naked at 12/1:00 a.m lately.

He claims that he fell in love with a beatiful german girl earlier on in his life who took away all of his natural gifts. He says he can no longer play guitar or write music or art or anything like that. We talked about the most messed up things... human behaviour, what it is like, what it should be like, how insignificant and ignorant human beings are.. among other things. He then asked us if we lived alone because he needed a place to stay as there was six people staying in his house that night. We hesitated, then he told us that he does have a key to a friends house who lives just by Macmaster. A friend who he had just recently met. I told him that I'll give him a ride up there. So we gave him a ride in my car. He thanked my as if I was a god and then he told us that we are welcome to come to his house in a couple weeks when he will be having some people over so we can hang out and smoke pot and what not. Then he left.



event donated by Bug


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